Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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