so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
