I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
