I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize