I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
