I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
