some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize