We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize