Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
