Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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