I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
