She is in my trunk
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize