Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
