We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
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Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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