Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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