Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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