Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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