Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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