Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.