I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.