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The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Randomize
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