i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
