I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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