I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It's not a walk of shame if you run
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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