Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
