Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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