In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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