it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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