walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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