For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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