I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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