i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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