I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
