Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
