I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
