dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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