Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
