i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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