take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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