i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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