I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
