My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
