I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
and you fell through a lawn chair
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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