the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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