Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize