Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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