He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
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just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
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My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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