I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
her facebook's as public as her vagina
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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