so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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