Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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