I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
