We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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