Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
