paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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