i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
