just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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