I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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