dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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