The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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