I queefed so loud it echoed.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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