i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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