Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
