Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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